On a quiet day off, I found myself rereading my old journals. I have journaled for years. I am not methodical in my journaling. Months may go by between each entry. Some entries span pages, and others barely take up a line or two. But I have always scribbled down notes and thoughts and prayers since elementary school.
So I pored over these pages, seeing my old self now embalmed in scratches of ink. I read mostly from college journals and seminary journals. Honestly, a great deal of it was somewhat embarrassing. The worries and wars of my 20-year-old self were not particularly noble. And, I tend to journal when I am in one mood: down. (I have often, half-jokingly, worried aloud to Jess that our kids will come across these old journals and conclude I was the most depressed person in the world)!
But silly adolescent ramblings aside, the overwhelming takeaway from this journey through the past was thankfulness for God’s provision and the conclusion that the worry wasn’t worth it.
The worry wasn’t worth it!
So many entries were about this or that unanswered question. Direction, jobs, relationships, school, and so forth…so many unknowns bothered me, and yet, looking back, each issue was resolved in time and with grace. Many questions I simply could not know then, but God would answer them all in his perfect timing. While giving these concerns to the Lord was certainly right and good, any second I spent in worry wasn’t worth it. God was and is faithful.
I come away from these journals determined to pray more and worry less.
How about you? Does the rearview mirror reveal the same for you?