Bear Mountain Griz

Bear Mountain Griz

Monday morning we lost our sweet baby boy. We have been more sad than I can say.

We were so excited to meet him. We were so proud of our boy. We felt our family was at last complete. We were already daydreaming of bunk beds and the wrestle-snuggles only little boys can give.

But he came and went in the night. And we already miss him.

A few weeks ago I wrote of our joy and I said we would never be the same. I knew then that statement could cut both ways. I hoped never to be on this side of it.

I never wanted to write this update, never wanted to live all these reversals. But I will thank God for our son, and I will celebrate him in life and death.

Bear Mountain Griz

After a night in the hospital and a morning of labor, he came around 12:15 PM, October 29, 2013. He was a mere five ounces and 7 inches long. But he was perfect. Perfect hands. Perfect feet. Perfect toes. A perfectly formed mouth. A little, cute tummy. Long legs.

The doctor could discern no cause of death. She just said, “He’s beautiful.”

We named him Bear Mountain Griz.

We had joked in the past this would be the most awesome boy name ever. But as we considered it again, it seemed the right name for our boy. “Bear” because he will always be our little bear. “Mountain” because he will always loom large in our hearts and minds, and because we have faith God can move our Mountain.

Little Graces

In the midst of all this, we have seen so many little graces. And we want to testify to God’s goodness and provision in the storm. We are so thankful for all the friends and family that have reached out to us, prayed for us, and offered us help. It means so much. We are thankful for a nurse who cried with us, a doctor who told us she was praying, moments of total peace, a gentle and relatively short labor, and so many other graces I do not have space to list here.

What Now

What now? I don’t know. But it feels really good to write about him. I’ve been writing all day. Maybe I’ll share more of it later. In the mean time, we will rock in the waves and ease back into the rhythms of life.

We will continue to thank God for our son and long for the morning, when God will be our light and death will be no more. We set our sights on that day.

Published by

Derek Griz

I am a Christian, a husband, a father, and a pastor (Immanuel Church). I write from those perspectives. Connect with me on Twitter (@derekgriz).

26 thoughts on “Bear Mountain Griz”

  1. Thanks for writing, Derek. Reading your blog reminds me that Sonya & I have 2 little ones waiting for us in heaven. We continue to pray for your whole family.

  2. Derek, words cannot express the pain we have in our hearts for your loss of little Bear Mountain. His name is perfect and just one more example of the wonderful, thoughtful and amazing Christians and parents you and Jess are. You are in our thoughts and prayers and we take comfort in knowing that You are surrounded with God’s peace, love and mercy at this sad time. We love you all very much!

  3. What an amazing name you gave your perfect little boy. My heart is broken for you all. We are praying for your family as you walk this journey.

  4. My mom had a dream – she said she saw a beautiful field filled with children running and playing- Jesus’ light shined over them all and He was there with them – your son is in that field playing in Jesus’ light.

  5. We’ve never been where you and Jess are right now, Derek, but thank you for letting us share it with you. You are in our prayers that God’s grace will sustain, and we’re so glad for the grace sifted out of the pain.

  6. Derek,

    Bless you both! What a sweet boy. Thank you for telling us about him. Lisa and I always talk about our 2 little ones that we will rejoice to meet one day in Heaven. We will pray for God’s continuing grace to surround your family.

  7. I too lost a precious son, Dyllon. He was bigger than Bear…1 lb. 10 oz…24 weeks along. He survived for 5 days. My heart aches for you as I know the pain of losing a child! My prayers are with you and your precious wife and kids! Thank you for serving the Lord with our youth. Dakota Gearin loves you! – Stacy Carpenter

    When the time is right, please share my story with your wife. I would love to speak with her when she is ready and try to help encourage her. (!/notes/stacy-carpenter/dyllon-stone-gearin-february-26-2007-march-3-2007/10150811132051258)

  8. We are so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful name for a very precious little boy. Our family is praying with you as you and Jess walk this through.

  9. Derek I am so sorry to this news about your son. I too know the pain of losing a baby as I have Victoria, Charles and Amanda all waiting for the day I join them in Heaven. Please know that you and your wife are not alone. I am praying for you all. I pray for God’s healing balm, His love, peace, comfort, mercy, grace will rain down on your lives.
    Patti Renfro

  10. Derek and Jess –
    We are so very sorry to hear of your precious baby boy. May God gold you both in His arms and help you through the terrible grief that comes from losing a son. We are lifting you up in prayer.

  11. Our family is praying you all through this extremely hard time. We are so thankful you were able to cherish his perfect features, and hold him for such a precious but all too short time. Lifting you and your broken hearts to Christ’s throne,
    Dave & Tara Dovenbarger

  12. Derek and Jess

    My heart breaks for you in your loss but I am so glad we serve a God that will reunite you with him one day. Praying for your family.

    Racia Lawson

  13. Derek, may you and your family find comfort in knowing that our God loves little children, and right now he is resting in his arms.

  14. Derek & Jess,

    Overwhelmed with a flood of emotion and heartbreak for your family as I too remember the loss of two babies. You and in our thoughts and prayers and we love you guys. Christ has been glorified through your family with your beautiful son, Bear Mountain Griz.

    Melody & Terry Smith

  15. Derek, what a comfort and joy you must be to your family and all who know you. I’m sorry that I don’t know you. I grew up in church with your mom and Davis grandparents and your Uncle Glenn. I know what fine people they are so I’m not surprised at who you are! I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son but as we all know God knows best. I’ll keep you all in my prayers. I’ll have to thank your sweet mother for sharing you and your wonderful blogs which I have thoroughly enjoyed reading.

  16. Derek, I do not really know you and have just begun to know Jess recently through watching Hannah at church. I am thinking of you guys as you hearts have already begun the preparation for the road of grief. Stay strong in your confidence in our Father and His loving plan in this time. I can speak from experience, to say that makes a big difference in the hard days and the harder days. Loving you guys with the sweet love of God!

    Beth Reade

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